Year anew.

2012 has finally come.  And for I think the first time, I'm actually happy and experiencing changes which are "supposedly" meant to come with every new year.

I have never been one to make resolutions for myself.  I find them quite stupid, and it just sets you up to not actually try and accomplish them. Such as: Stop eating junk food.  Firstly, I'm not that addicted to any kind of junk food that I need to actually make myself completely stop eating it.  Although I love fries, and the occasional slices of pizza, chinese food, or frisco melt from Steak n' Shake (so sue me), I will never not stop eating them.  So why try and force myself to when I enjoy them? (Although - I have seriously limited fried foods as I used to get horriffic stomach aches.  And since reducing, I haven't had one since).  I'm a firm believer in 'everything in moderation,' even the slightly so-bad-it's-good foods. ;)



This is delicious and you KNOW it.



However, I strongly believe in making Goals. 
A while back, I wrote down goals for myself that I wanted to accomplish, either in the near future, or down the road when able to.  Such as: buy a car, move out, etc.



One of the biggest changes this year so far, is that I landed a new job.  Completely unrelated to what I was doing for the last five years, but it's a welcomed change of pace for me.  I'm actually typing this entry from my new desk!  Not too shabby.
It kind of just fell into my lap via Bella, my best girl friend (she has already been working there for about two years).  The opportunity came around once before, about a year or so ago, but I was hell bent on finding another job in my related field, so I passed it up.  Fortunately, it came around again in the middle of January, and I was so ready to be out of my job, I just accepted the opportunity to interview.  Two weeks later, I started.  I've been here four weeks already and couldn't be happier.  I work with some really cool people.

Yeah.  Things like this happen where I work. 

 New Year's Eve itself was pretty great.  I went downtown with two of my best girl friends, dressed to impress, and met up with friends. 
We went to one of the street parties and danced and drank.
Yes, I'll admit - when midnight struck, I did get a little nostalgic and jealous of the ladies that were there with their significant others.  I've never had a NYE kiss till this day.  My last relationship with Tobes was long distance, so we usually spent most big holidays apart.
I met a few guys.  One a complete creeper douche, that tried to get all possessive just because he bought me a drink.  Another whom was really sexy, but lives too far away, and never touched base the day after Facebook friending me.  I had a good few kisses with him though.  I also had a weak moment and texted with DG for a while that night.  Note: that's pretty much the last time we spoke before he left for Panama.  We've only messaged a little once since him being there.

My girl friends didn't fare too well either.  They were much more inebriated than I, and were hanging around two not too impressive guys all night.  I made Bella sleep at my place in my sister's old room, and we hung out new year's day and recovered together.  I still tell her she probably felt so shitty because she drank my long island iced tea when I was having a bathroom break!


My online dating experience hasn't been going as well as I'd hoped either.  These days, I've been having good conversation (via emails) with a couple of guys, but the ones thus far that I've met in person, have just been mediocre dates.  Instead of writing separate entries for each date, let me give you a brief run-down of what I'll call 'moments of awkwardness':

1.) Drove a P.T. Cruiser (come on, how many guys have you seen in one?); lied about his height; I ended up walking him back to his car.  What the fuck?
"All my longest relationships have been with Aries'!"

2.)  Quite a sweet guy, funny even.  Until he consistently kept doing  Mickey Mouse and Quagmire impressions.  Not cute.  Annoying.
"I'd love to meet your mother!" (2nd date, fyi).

3.) *Most recent: Had been using older (aka: Younger!) pictures of him on the site; arrived late for our date; kept wanting to extend date.  What the fuck is there really to do at midnight on a Friday that doesn't invole booze or a club?
He had my number already, but emailed me to know "when a good time to call..." would be.... ??

Obviously, this isn't just to do with the guys.  They were all very nice and all, but there just wasn't much chemistry.  And sure, I guess a few things that happened on the dates were just weird.

And what ever happened to guys putting forth an effort?  Sure, looking pretty was part of my job and the industry I was working in, but when meeting guys, hell, even just meeting friends, I like to look cute.  Just for me.  But for these dates, I did my hair, makeup, wore perfume, all of that jazz.  Yet the guys would show up in jean shorts, hoodies, and just not looking like they cared to be with a date of the female persuasion.  Maybe I'm overthinking it.  But it's a big deal to me.  Sure, I love a guy that's laid back, and would rather wear jeans and a t-shirt versus a pantsuit, but for a date, is it too much to ask to clean up your overgrown haircut? Especially when it's clearly kept really short usually? Or put on something that at least suggests you care?

 I'm not trying to sound vain here: But to me (and everyone else that thinks they're too good to admit it!), attraction is every much a part to do with one's personality, and looks, combined, when it comes to dating.
Think about it: You wouldn't date someone you didn't find attractive, right?
And any past boyfriends/girlfriends have been with people you personally found attractive, right?
I don't want to come off as stuck up, but when I find somone I want to talk to - I have to find them attractive.  Needless to say, I'm being picky with whom I connect with on the site.  Partly because I have the luxury to be.  What's the point of online dating if you can't pick and choose whom you want to talk, or not talk, with?
Plus, I get a lot of weirdo's messaging me, or people that can't read my profile, and decide to practically "sell" themselves in their message, about how great of a guy they are, and will treat someone well, and are looking for a girlfriend - when I'm clearly not in the market for a boyfriend.

Yes, I'd love to meet a nice guy that I can hang out with, enjoy his company. Hell - even make out with, on occasion, would be awesome.  But an actual full-on relationship? No. 

I'm just starting to feel pretty much okay about being single.  No, I'm not still mouring the break up  of my relationship with Tobes, but yes occasionally, I still get a little sad about it.  I still miss him from time to time.  So I know I'm not ready a boyfriend right now.
That, and I'm just now starting to come into my own.  With this new job, it's opened up other possibilities of my goals for this year.  Like moving in with Bella.  Her roommates (our mutual friends - a couple) are most likely going to grad school in the fall, and want me to sub-let.  With my new, much better steady income, I can start saving (finally), and start thinking seriously about living with my friends.  A plan we had years ago.  But when I lost my job, it wasn't an option any more. I'll be twenty-four in a month.  It's time to get things settled into my own life.  And once things are going well, I think a boyfriend will only sweeten the deal.  But it's not a neccessity of my happiness, or something I'm in any rush to attain.


I'll keep on trucking with the online stuff.  For now.  I wasn't too serious about it to begin with, so I may not keep up with it for too much longer depending on how things go.



But at least for right now, it's producing some pretty humorous stories :)